The captain had expected nothing but smooth sailing as thousands settled in for the pleasure cruise in the land of sun and fun.
But then the ship ran aground, capsized, and partially sank, leaving a scene of complete terror.
And the captain, ignoring those under his command, scrambled away to save his own skin.
FITS thinks you might feel he's describing Captain Francesco Schettino of the cruise ship Costa Concordia, which ran aground off Italy yesterday....but in fact he's thinking more in terms of Captain Roy Williams of the Good Ship Tarheel which, expecting a fun day in sunny Tallahassee, took on water early, rolled on its side like a whipped dog, and went down without a whimper.
And while brave Captain Roy waddled to the locker room to save himself 14 seconds of further embarrassment, he completely and totally abandoned his walkons to whatever might befall them. All hail the brave captain!
Coach Williams later commented that "in Chapel Hill, we don't just call our valued non-scholarship players walk-ons. We call them bait."