Criminal charges and the NBA are out of our normal range, but in the case of Memphis Grizzly Hamed Haddadi being charged with assault against his girlfriend (she was also charged with assaulting him), there is one amazing element: her last name.
Goolnaz "Asal" Karbalaeinematmoeeney.
By our count, that's 21 letters, and has to be the longest surname we've ever seen.