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FITS On Steroids!

Come good news or bad, FITS has to concede that indeed the Tarheels are one big, happy family.

Your felicitous fly has been buzzing around the tiny hamlet of Chapel Hill ever since word got out that Tarheel Hall of Famer Marion Jones (she's in the record books for fastest 100 meters time and Most Lies Uttered in One News Conference) was going to the slammer for lying to the Feds about her steroidal status, as well as check fraud.

Has the Tarheel family, led by coach Sylvia Hatchell, abandoned the swift fan of flaxseed oil? Perhaps, but FITS has heard a heartwarming rumor that The Hatch is fervently trying to set up a hoop tiff close to Marion's new home, and if all goes well look for the Mass Transit Blues to be scheduling an exhibition game late this season against New York State University at Rikers Island. (Fans are kindly asked to leave their nail files at home.)

Hoop sages say this will be the most interesting penal matchup since the famous Penn State - State Pen game of 1947. Stay tuned for details!

But there is another silver lining to this Mass Transit Blue cloud: late word has it that Marion has been named an honorary citizen of the former East Germany! Jawolhl Frau Jones!!!