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FITS Is Back!

hadn't had a good look at gaudy suburban sprawl for some time, so a few days ago your airborn artist of alliterative antagonism flapped on over to Chappaheeya and watched the Tarheels welcome Butch Davis as their new football coach.

The FITSter had just arrived in Tacky Blue Land when he spotted a desperate looking figure sprinting out of the building with tears in his pale blue eyes. A closer look revealed it was former UNC Chancellor Bill Friday who could be heard mumbling (as he continued his impersonation of Marion Jones on the steroids she never took ) "this was once a great university! I swear, this was once a great university! Really, it was!"

Friday was evidently referring to the fact that his beloved "do things the right way, or at least give the illusion that you are" Tarheels had decided to acquire football success by hiring the former head coach of the Miami Hurricanes, the thuggish, semi-literate Goodfellas of college football.

Friday evidently thinks that paying a football coach two million smackers a year (five times what the Chancellor is paid) somehow places into question precisely what the role of a university is, especially when the new regime reportedly demanded that Tacky Blue admissions "standards" be "modified" even further than they have been in recent years. No problemo, Senor Butch!

But FITS respectfully disagrees with burbling Bill. FITS has been in and out of enough dumpsters to know that if you're looking for primo grade dung encrusted trash, you have to go to the right place and pay the right price. And in hiring Butch Davis, the University of North Carolina has done precisely that.