The rich get richer! FITS is delighted to bestow the prestigious Charles Kuralt Extramarital Affairs Cup upon Michael Jordan, given each decade to the UNC alum whose extramarital hijinks most closely reflect the morals of Humpin' Chuck. Regrettably, it appears that the lanky, selfish hoopster is taking himself out of the extramarital sweepstakes after all these years, not by altering his libidinous ways, but rather by finally divorcing his hapless wife.
The Charles Kuralt Cup, of course, is named after longtime CBS newsman (and UNC alumnus) who managed to maintain two families at once (for decades), a feat even Jordan was unable to equal, though it must be said he gave it a good try.