clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

How To Fix California!

After watching the mess in Cali for a while, what can you say but what a
train wreck? Pretty clearly, California needs radical work, and
fortunately, we know just the radical for the job. Citizens of California,
we bring you good news! We have just the man to clean house.

Armstrong. James Armstrong. Why write in James Armstrong?

Condors, Not Condos!
  • He'll make environmentalism the cornerstone of his policy.
  • The Condor will become the state bird.
  • For the first time ever in American history, a sitting governor will be
    able to hack into databases to speed up help to voters having problems with
  • He'll shut Ariana Huffington up.
  • He'll shut Larry Flynt up.
  • He's twice the man Gary Coleman is.
  • Spammers will get the death penalty, but no one else will, as James is
    opposed to it in all other situations.
  • Under Gov. James Armstrong, Sushi will be tax free!
  • The state of California will go to great lengths to get Duke to play
    regularly in the Golden State.
  • Global Warming, while tragic, will be harnessed to warm the Bay Area.

What more do you need? Californians: on your election day, if there is
an election day, if the courts don't alter or cancel it, write in James
Armstrong. You have nothing to lose but your current insanity!