FITS will admit to taking the occasional potshot at the all too
lampoonable Tarfeet of Chapel Hill, but your flapping fan of filth must
give credit where credit's due. The FITSter watched the ACC women's hoop
championship game in Greensboro last night, and is pleased to report that
both teams came home with trophies. The methodical Blue Devil women once
again vanquished their garish foes for the league title, despite the antics
of a UNC cheerleading squad which looks hauntingly like a failed Bulgarian
And Tarfoot mentor and sartorial savant Sylvia Hatchell was awarded a
special prize for her stunning impersonation of Elvis Presley, filling out
the XXXXXL gold suit as only the King could. And don't forget the jewelry!
Putting special icing on the cake was Queen Sylvia's second half apoplectic
tirade, which reminded the judges of the time Elvis went berserk in The
Sands at 3 a.m. after being informed that room service was unable to fill
his order for fifteen peanut butter and bacon sandwiches.