While Ewe-N-C's basketball season is currently showing the robustness of
the Argentinian economy, FITS will be shedding no crocodilian tears for the
baby blues. With much of the rest of the conference taking a winter hiatus
from legal high jinks, Tarfoot pigskin prodigy Kitwana Jones has been
charged with assault for punching some guy at a dance, thereby increasing
his school's already commanding lead in this year's Warden's Cup race.
Jones, already on suspension from the team for previous meritorious
service, proves once again that a misbehaving Chapel Hill athlete has a
better chance of being abducted by aliens than he has of being tossed out
FITS suggestion to Kitwana: get ready to write some of those tough book
reports for which the UNC disciplinary community has become so noted!