clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Our First Automobile Recommendation

Julio got together with Dave Telep this weekend so that Dave could take a
look at Julio's for-sale condo in downtown Raleigh.  We went to get a bite
to eat and to look around the neighborhood first, and took Dave's Altima. 

On the way back, just after turning off Six Forks onto Atlantic Avenue, Dave
braked because the car in front of him was turning right.  Just as he did,
the whole car was rocked, as we were rear-ended by a big-ass, V-8 1990
Cadillac!  It was a hard enough shot to throw us both forward and to knock
the ashtray open.

Being a cool customer, Dave more or got the tag number, which is about
the same length as the numbers kids wear at big camps, so another skill
found!  Dave said the couple in the Caddy were elderly, so we headed up to
check on them.  We watched as the Caddy pulled in the lot above us, turned
and came to the lot below us, and, when we walked down, took off.

It's not often you get to say this: we were hit-and-run by a pair of 80 year
olds. Ok, put the allegedly in there, to be proper. Allegedly hit and run by a
pair of 80 year olds.  But the ashtray didn't open itself. Someone
hit us.

Anyway, we called the cops and he looked them up from the tags, then from the
phone book (Raleigh PD is very high tech: the phone book was in the trunk). The
suspect, he told us, was born in 1915.

That was all pretty bizarre and interesting. But the other part of the story,
and the part perhaps most worth mentioning, is this: we were doing at least 30
when the Caddy struck us.  When they came back down the street,  the
car had a significant amount of front end damage. Keep in mind this is a big
honkin' car.  This thing is one room shy of a Winnebago.

Dave's car, on the other hand, is a more humble Altima, with plastic bumpers
designed to stand up to five MPH parking lot collisions.  Here's
what happened to his car.
As you can see, almost nothing.  The bumper
came down slightly and there is a crease. The light assembly also came out on
the left side of the plate but we shoved it back in. Quite honestly, we both thought, from the impact, that the car had been totaled.

So kids, when you graduate college and are looking for a strong, sturdy car,
one that will stand up to almost anything, we can both unhesitatingly recommend
an Altima. Any car that can stand up to a big-ass Cadillac and give better than
it gets, well, chances are you won't put it through nearly as much.

Dave is waiting patiently for Nissan to schedule his commercial endorsement.
Julio, whose Honda was struck (and struck solidly)by a similar Cadillac, in a parking lot, at 5 MPH, is wishing he had an Altima.