Apparently we struck a nerve with our "how not to name your children"
post of a couple of days ago. We've gotten several very funny responses to that,
including a somewhat disturbing man who
watches Star Wars entirely too much.
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Here are some other responses we got. This first one may be a joke, we
don't know for sure:
*****
I read that a quarter of a century ago, people used to name their children
Makhtar, but the practice was discontinued after an unfortunate
developmental disaster. The name is now quite rare.
*****
Dear Sirs,
I have read your recent articles of how not to name your kid and have some
notable stories. I am the son of a Department of Social Services worker in
a nearby county in NC. Over the years i have heard my fair share of horrorÂ
stories as well as the humorous, the naming of a child is as funny as it gets.
In your previous column a preacher mentioned a girl named Female, I can confirm
this as well as adding these names that i have known for a while now:
FI-ree EX-zee, is the name of a girl named after the first thing the mom saw
when she came to after the birth of her child, Fire Exit.
My sister went to school with a guy named OH-rong-AH-low and knew of his
brother, YELL-ong-AH-low...the teachers sadly pronounced the names as they were
spelled...Orange Jello and Yellow Jello.
These again, are stories i grew up with as my mother brought them home years
ago...
thank you for your time
*****
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I read your two stories on what not to name your children, and I have one
that will beat all of those. I am fairly certain you won't be able to
print this, but if you do, please don't include my name.
My wife earned her MS in Occupational Therapy from Washington University in St.
Louis. As part of her masters project, she reviewed hundreds of pediatric
care files. One of the children in these files was a little girl whose
name was spelled Shithead (pronounced Shuh-theed). This girl will need a
therapist.