FITS passed up Monday night's office party at the landfill and flapped
on down to Greensboro where the Tarheels and Dukies went at it from the
distaff side. And while the Dukies' hard-earned win was exciting,
nothing could rival the buzz generated by the Heels new coach, back from
the dead: Liberace! (Question: how's Gut?) Yes, reporters from
Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood and the National Tattler rushed
courtside to photograph the previously planted pianist, only to discover
the body in the oversized hideous golden sequined jacket, black fuzzy
trimmed with a sparkly border belonged to none other than Sylvia
Your refuse-eating raconteur became momentarily blinded by the disco
ball effect, and nearly crashed into the cheap seats, where several
inebriated Tarheel fans were mumbling something about "third place."
And finally a doff of the FITS fedora to Nikki Teasley for doing so many stirring renditions of her classy Strut-a-thon.