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Boswell, in Stitches, Thanks UNC

Boswell reports today that he successfully tested the hypothesis that his concrete driveway is indeed harder than his head. He was taking his golden retriever, Free Throw, to the vet this morning to be spayed, when he noticed that somehow the sprinkler system for his lawn was running and had made his driveway a sheet of ice. Unable to drive his car and Free Throw up the steep slope, he got out and began to salt the driveway. As Free Throw ran with glee, Boswell slipped and fell, face first, onto the driveway.

A neighbor nefariously took the bloodied Boz, who was in no condition to protest, to the UNC emergency room rather than Duke. As he sat in the waiting room amid National Geographics and "The Price is Right," he was told that "Dr. Smith" would be attending to him. Turning an even whiter pallor, he envisioned a grinning Dean Smith, wearing a "I SAID NO! TO BOSWELL" t-shirt and carrying a cranial saw in one hand and a speculum in the other, awaiting him.

Fortunately, Dr. Smith turned out to be a wonderfully pleasant physician. She did a splendid sartorial job on Boswell's visage, leaving him adorned with 15 neat, albeit meandering, stitches and releasing him shortly thereafter. Boswell wishes to express his sincere thanks to Dr. Smith and the nurses and staff people at UNC Hospital, who very honestly were exceptionally nice and attentive.

Meanwhile, unlike her master, Free Throw escaped her medical procedure for at least a week but is under heavy suspicion as the prime culprit for having turned on the sprinkler system in the first place. An ingenious hound.