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General Recruiting Nonsense

In Duke-centric recruiting news, Jared Jeffries has set his visits and Duke
is on the list but Maryland's not,
so nyah nyah nyah to the Terps. Ok, just
kidding, but it's late, it's silly time! Frank Rizzo is liable to call out of
this joint any minute the way things are going now.  Impressively, to us,
FSU is on the list. All Steve needs is one recruit. Come on baby, daddy needs a
new pair of  (Free) Shoes! When he gets a breakthrough recruit, the rest
will follow. Say what you will, Steve Robinson is one fine coach. He just needs
some players, preferably not one's Duke is also after. 

Bob Gibbons has a snyopsis
of general recruiting info
on a lot of people. To us the most interesting
things are a) he predicts Jeffries to Indiana, b) FSU recently got a recruit
named J.D. (like that name) Bracy, a 6-2 guard, c) A.J. Moye, he thinks, is down
to Indiana and Georgia Tech (either a lunatic or a guy who might not last
long...easy choice here, hell with the loon), d) DeJuan Wagner has broken a foot
and so the Messiah will have to sit and savior his teammates play (sorry, that
was pretty bad), and e) Chris Hobbs, who blew out his knee, may end up at
Clemson. Chris, one piece of post-injury advice on the off-chance (fat chance
more like it) that you would actually read this - you'll know now who really
cares. Ignore the ones who have slunk away.

Ok, now that that's out of the way, let's get to the good stuff - the quotes!
Because other than profile recruits and recruiting dramas, let's face it, that's
what Bob does best.

  • "loaded" 
  • "yes" (why, Bob, why?)
  • "the captain" 
  • "all-name team"
  • "Midnight Madness"
  • "unofficial visit"
  • "on the table"
  • "top discoveries" 

In some other news, Kei
Madison will not be able to play at Indiana this year
and is off to "juco."

Meanwhile, over in the swamps of Jersey, Seton Haul fans (that's what we're
calling it, though we call dibs on "New Kids In The Hall" next season,
and you heard it here first, so don't steal it, Politi!),now  having a Duke
coach, are starting to take after Duke fans with posts
like this on their boards. 
This one is ostensibly about Rashid Dunbar: 

Sources close to top 40 national product, Rashid Dunbar, have recently indicated that the 6-3 shooing guard has crossed
Rutgers off his list of potential schools. Dunbar could not be reached for comment, however his mother all but confirmed the report. "Giving him my stamp of approval on rutgers is just something that I can't do. Rashid is a good person, and a good kid, but he is quite modest, and not a very good free-throw shooter---you know what that means over there, don't you?" she said.   

For the dense and dull, this is a joke, and if you haven't kept up with the
nudey antics of the Rutgers coach and the slow furor building, you should check it out for the latest in Coaching Weirdness.

Seton Hall - first a coach, now players, and soon, not Crazy, but Seton
Sickos? Doesn't sound right, but clearly there are some dedicated fans there
with all the right impulses.

Snyder is a firm advocate of the Theory of Evolution, yet still gets a
Halo from Fans. Who Knew?

At our other sister school, Mizzou,
(some) of the natives are restless.
Relax, guys - what would Norm have done
besides send an assistant up to Detroit to dig up some trouble ? Not much. 
Aside from his other fine qualities, Quin's a pretty good teacher and also a guy
with good timing - he has a solid roster coming back.  Not to say he
shouldn't (or isn't) recruiting, but you've got a truckful already. At least let
the season start before you demonize the poor guy.

In funnier posts on the Mizzou board, apparently Kansas fans are concerned
that their "devolving
as Quotin' Bob might phrase it, is damaging their
image.  Our prediction is that the rest of the Big 12 will ridicule the
state so thoroughly that they will retreat from the banishment of evolution. So
when it comes to pass, you can say - Voila! there is a God. Sports, ridicule,
and evolution - where else will you find that ridiculous linking of subjects?

If Kansas wants to be embarrassed, they can pick on Bob "E.D." Dole
(great, now we'll get letters from guys who can't get woodies and irritated yet
grateful viagra wives, when everyone knows that the real beneficiary of viagra
is going to be the adult movie industry, resulting in massive unemployment for
"fluff girls," who will almost certainly become a preferred demographic target of compassion for Our Leader in self-defined abstinence, swingin' Bill Clinton, who will pull out the stops to make unemployment forthis group of voters highly unlikely).

Just for further amusement and to show you how absolutely insane recruiting
has gotten, here is the
infamous thread from the Kansas board,
blaming the  the board of
education for alienating non-fundamentalist basketball players who value an

A new slogan - Kansas education - we're not
monkeying around anymore!
Maybe what they should do is get Bob "E.D."
Dole to use his connections and set the board of education up with some of his
miracle Love Drug and see if that doesn't give them something better to do since
they evidently have too much time, and too little fun, on their hands.

Also from your (non)baboonish friends on the plains is a thread on the Gut-less
critics of the current UNC coach. Actually we thought this thread would be
moronic, but it's a pretty
sharp analysis of UNC fans
and how spoiled and arrogant some of them can
be.  It's also evidence of how far news of the Gut-bashing has spread, and how much trouble it's likely to cause UNC in terms of recruiting and also stability. UNC fans of the world, you whined! You have nothing to lose but your angst..and maybe a coach or three.

Among other smart points, the posters point out that Roy "Boy Toy"
Williams (we just threw that in, only because it rhymed, so put those pens down,
you sages of the Plains!) isn't likely to come rushing back if his good buddy
Gut is ridden out of town on a rail.

Clearly, these posters aren't descended from monkeys. No matter what the
damned school board says. Just to irritate the Angry Kansans, here's a link for
all you school-kids: Darwin's classic work, The
Descent Of Man.
Your parents read Henry Miller to shock theirs, but Madonna and Jerry Springer have rendered that meaningless. This might
work better in your day. Rebel! Audacity, Audacity, always Audacity!

Well, except in the NCAA's.

But we won't go there.