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From 3/17


Missing: Pale blue fly, possibly wounded, definitely incoherent; Last seen being pursued
by salmon in Puget Sound on Thursday, March 11; if
located DO NOT APPROACH! Subject is known to be dyspeptic and paranoid; may possibly be en
route to Lawrence, Kansas to kidnap recently
inactivated local hoop coach; likely destination: Chapel Hill, N.C.If you have seen this
insect, call Upside the Head Carolina for further