The "classy" (say it enough times and it might become true!) UNC
athletic department is so strongly behind current pigskin mentor Carl
Tarbush that FITS has taken notice. Seems that someone in the coach's
own department is telling the media that for a low, low $435,000, Carl
can be bought out and sent packing! FITS surely admires the vote of
confidence from the Tacky Blues!
FITS' apoplectic cousin down the road in Mugging Hill took in the recent
exhibition game wherein Bluto Haywood showed his new, improved 1999 work
ethic by garnering one (1) rebound against a team of guys a half a foot
shorter. The amazing feat was witnessed by none other than the
inimitably classy Makhtar! And as for the revitalized Tar Heel pressure
defense, FITS wonders if it wouldn't be a bit more effective if Gut was
allowed to play seven guys at a time.