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Jeffrey
11-30-2007, 11:16 AM
WARNING: THIS IS NOT A "G" RATED JOKE

Hi,

A little boy decides it's time to write Santa, so he pulls out his crayons & paper and writes, "Please send me a brother".

Santa writes back, "Please send me your mother".

Best regards,
Jeffrey
knights68
11-30-2007, 12:38 PM
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic.
captmojo
11-30-2007, 01:10 PM
Mainly because all the other kids he knew were getting toys,the First Mate's grandfather once related the tale of when he asked his mother for something to play with as a gift for Christmas.

Imagine his surprise awakening Christmas morning to find that she had cut a hole out of the lower corner of his pant's pocket!:D :D :D
Bluedawg
12-02-2007, 04:34 PM
12 Pains of Christmas (http://youtube.com/watch?v=XH-He10OZ_E)
hc5duke
12-02-2007, 07:08 PM
Santa was receiving a surprise visit from the FAA to ensure that all his equipment is in proper working order for the festive season. To prepare for the inspection, Santa got the elves to wash the sleigh and bathe all the reindeer.

On arrival, the examiner walked slowly around the sleigh. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sleigh's enormous load.

Finally, they were ready for the test ride, in which Santa's flying skills would come under intense scrutiny. Santa got in his sleigh, fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness, and checked the compass. All the reindeer were in position. Then the examiner hopped in, carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa nervously.

The examiner winked and confided: "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
Lavabe
12-02-2007, 07:28 PM
Here is a link to the traditional physics of Santa Claus:
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/physics.asp

And a mild rebuttal by the Finns:
http://www.physorg.com/news2487.html

I kind of like the thought that Santa uses vacuum energy!:D
Cheers,
Lavabe
Jeffrey
12-03-2007, 01:33 PM
Hi,

This one is pretty clean....
hc5duke
12-03-2007, 02:47 PM
Hi,

This one is pretty clean....
link changed to image
http://www.choibean.com/random/santaprob4.gif
Jeffrey
12-03-2007, 03:03 PM
Hi,

Here's another one:

159
Jeffrey
12-03-2007, 03:10 PM
Hi,

And one more:

160