New Year's Eve Neigborhood Etiquette

[IamMatt'sUserName]

I live at the end of a cul-de-sac, along with 6 other houses. We each have lots that are about a quarter acre in size; so needless-to-say our houses are relatively close to one another.

Tonight, New Year's Eve, my immediate neighbor had a large gathering, which is fine, but it spilled out into the street throughout the night and involved loud fireworks at (and after) midnight.

After they had let off 4-5 of these fireworks, and it being about 12:30am by this point, I stepped outside to ask if they could keep it down (i.e., take the party back into the house) because I have 2 young children trying to sleep.

Was this a party foul on my part? Am I a jerk for asking them to be considerate of their neighbors?

I ask because they proceeded to launch more fireworks and call me a f****** d*** and a c*** s*****.

Now I don't know whether I should feel guilty for interrupting their fun (being a spoil sport) or pity for their rudeness and crass behavior in front of children.

Thoughts?

[OZZIE4DUKE]

I live at the end of a cul-de-sac, along with 6 other houses. We each have lots that are about a quarter acre in size; so needless-to-say our houses are relatively close to one another.

Tonight, New Year's Eve, my immediate neighbor had a large gathering, which is fine, but it spilled out into the street throughout the night and involved loud fireworks at (and after) midnight.

After they had let off 4-5 of these fireworks, and it being about 12:30am by this point, I stepped outside to ask if they could keep it down (i.e., take the party back into the house) because I have 2 young children trying to sleep.

Was this a party foul on my part? Am I a jerk for asking them to be considerate of their neighbors?

I ask because they proceeded to launch more fireworks and call me a f****** d*** and a c*** s*****.

Now I don't know whether I should feel guilty for interrupting their fun (being a spoil sport) or pity for their rudeness and crass behavior in front of children.

Thoughts?

As I read your post, I was thinking "gee, it's New Years, cut them some slack. Your kids can handle being woken up one night. But when I read the bolded part above, I changed my mind. At that point you should have called the cops and had them come break up the party, check for underage drinking, possibly arrest some folks as they left for DWI, and probably busted the whole group for drug abuse. Would have served them right.

Was it your neighbors or their "friends" who cussed you out. Makes a difference on how you handle the aftermath.

[IamMatt'sUserName]

Was it your neighbors or their "friends" who cussed you out. Makes a difference on how you handle the aftermath.

It was my neighbor, who I would guess is in his mid-forties.

I'd expect that reaction from a teenager and would dismiss it due to their age, but I guess I expect a little more courtesy from an adult, albeit a severely inebriated adult.

I waited until 12:30am; so I certainly wasn't looking to instigate anything. I wasn't intending to sound holier than thou; just wanted to remind them they were in a neighborhood with a lot of other families in close proximity (none of whom were in the street being exceptionally raucous).

This should be great for the neighbor dynamic.

[Indoor66]

It was my neighbor, who I would guess is in his mid-forties.

I'd expect that reaction from a teenager and would dismiss it due to their age, but I guess I expect a little more courtesy from an adult, albeit a severely inebriated adult.

I waited until 12:30am; so I certainly wasn't looking to instigate anything. I wasn't intending to sound holier than thou; just wanted to remind them they were in a neighborhood with a lot of other families in close proximity (none of whom were in the street being exceptionally raucous).

This should be great for the neighbor dynamic.

What an idiot you're neighbor is. He should have included everyone on the cul de sac and solved his problem.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

What an idiot you're neighbor is. He should have included everyone on the cul de sac and solved his problem.

I agree and agree with the two statements above.

You have three choices.
1) Ignore him
2) Make peace with him
3) Sic EarlJam on him ;)

Happy New Year!

[IamMatt'sUserName]

3) Sic EarlJam on him ;)

LOL. I wish!

He's got experience resolving this sort of issue.

[Lord Ash]

Burn his damn house down. That will teach him a lesson!

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Burn his damn house down. That will teach him a lesson!

No, we don't want people to start posting from jail.

Um, is anyone posting from jail now?:eek:

[Lord Ash]

No, we don't want people to start posting from jail.

Um, is anyone posting from jail now?:eek:

I didn't say get CAUGHT burning his house down.

[CathyCA]

What an idiot you're neighbor is. He should have included everyone on the cul de sac and solved his problem.

Your neighbor is not very bright. He should have issued a party invitation to everyone in the neighborhood explaining that there would be lots of cars in the cul-de-sac, some noise and fireworks after midnight, and inviting all of the neighbors over for a celebratory toast. Preemptive measures such as these go a long way toward fostering good will in the neighborhood.

I wonder how the rest of your neighbors feel. . . Maybe a neighborhood intervention is in order.

[Kimist]

I tend to agree with Ozzie.

At first I probably would have cut the guy some slack (you should see/hear the unofficial fireworks that go off in Germany!). However, if you reached your limit, and it was truly bothering the kids, a simple request to tone it down should have been honored.

But the "neighborly response" you received definitely changed the playing field. While I'm not sure I would have called the police, it definitely would have been in my mind at that point, especially if excess alcohol et al might have lead to safety problems for the entire neighborhood.

k

[devildeac]

I tend to agree with Ozzie.

At first I probably would have cut the guy some slack (you should see/hear the unofficial fireworks that go off in Germany!). However, if you reached your limit, and it was truly bothering the kids, a simple request to tone it down should have been honored.

But the "neighborly response" you received definitely changed the playing field. While I'm not sure I would have called the police, it definitely would have been in my mind at that point, especially if excess alcohol et al might have lead to safety problems for the entire neighborhood.

k

Agreed here. After the profanity outburst to what sounded like a polite, reasonable request, I would have called the authorities and let them deal with drunken arseh0les.

[2535Miles]

Should've called the cops. I've got your back. PM me for more details on covert opps against your neighbor. :D

[HaveFunExpectToWin]

Definitely call the cops in that situation.

He's the one who caused the incident with his un-neighborly f-bombs (his correct response should have been getting the party inside). At least you didn't throw down, which is to be commended. I probably would have become enraged and escalated the situation.

I think paying some neighborhood teens to TP/egg his house is proper retaliation.

[duke74]

Definitely call the cops in that situation.

He's the one who caused the incident with his un-neighborly f-bombs (his correct response should have been getting the party inside). At least you didn't throw down, which is to be commended. I probably would have become enraged and escalated the situation.

I think paying some neighborhood teens to TP/egg his house is proper retaliation.

VERY difficult situation, as you DO have to live next to the guy/family. Can escalate ridiculously. I may have missed it, but is this a continuing issue or just a one-off event? The answer might determine the response.

[HaveFunExpectToWin]

VERY difficult situation, as you DO have to live next to the guy/family. Can escalate ridiculously.

Would a letter to the rude neighbor do anything good?

I chatted with Matt'sUserName and it sounds like this neighbor has kids himself and was acting like a jackass in front of his family. I'm not sure reason or shame would work on him. I say if he pulls crap like this again, call the cops without warning.

That or the egging.

[Jeffrey]

After they had let off 4-5 of these fireworks, and it being about 12:30am by this point, I stepped outside to ask if they could keep it down (i.e., take the party back into the house) because I have 2 young children trying to sleep.

Was this a party foul on my part? Am I a jerk for asking them to be considerate of their neighbors?

I ask because they proceeded to launch more fireworks and call me a f****** d*** and a c*** s*****.

Hi,

Have you ever had any interaction with them before? This seems like an extremely strong response on their part for your first interaction.

We recently moved into a new neighborhood and we have a young baby. Many of our neighbors set off fireworks on New Years but we didn't care since we did not have to work the next morning. However, our next door neighbors were setting off fireworks from 10:00 p.m. - 11:59 p.m. on the Sunday night after X-Mas when we did have to work the next morning. I went out at midnight and asked them to stop the fireworks because we were trying to sleep. One more went off, and I was about to go inside and call the cops, when one of the teenagers said, "Sorry, last one". They then took the party inside.

Best regards,
Jeffrey

[OZZIE4DUKE]

I chatted with Matt'sUserName and it sounds like this neighbor has kids himself and was acting like a jackass in front of his family.

This actually reminds me of an incident at The Meadowlands several years ago at a Duke game there. The family sitting in front of my group, all fraternity brothers who enjoy being Cameron Crazies all these years later, were yelling and cheering on Duke, all in a clean, yet very boisterous manner. The family in front of us consisted of a husband, wife and two relatively young children. The wife was a Duke grad and her husband bought her tickets to the game as a present, and he reluctantly went with her. During the first half, he turned around and asked us to be quiet. Huh? We were at the game, not church or temple. We politely, and again, we weren't drunk or using abusive language, told him to watch the game in his living room if he wanted a quiet environment, but that we had no intention of sitting quietly while the game was going on, nor during time outs. At half time, he (finally) gathered his family and headed out (presumable to his living room) and let go with a string of 4 letter words that almost made me blush (well, ok, maybe not :)) right in front of his kids. I asked him (and this is something that IamMatt'sUserName (http://www.dukebasketballreport.com/forums/member.php?u=3612) could have used) if he "kissed his children with that mouth?" His face got redder in anger, as did his wife's (out of embarrassment), and we all felt sorry for her, being married to such a loser. They didn't return for the second half, and Duke went on to another glorious victory in NJ. A great time was had by all.

BTW, I posted this story several years ago when some Duke season ticket holders here mentioned problems with their elder seat neighbors who had similar noise problems. We mostly concluded that those folks needed to turn their seats in to the Iron Dukes and let others buy them and enjoy the games.