What is 'success'; what makes you, personally, successful?

[dukestheheat]

I'm looking for some motivation right now, everybody.

I'd like to read from you your definition of 'success'; also, what is it about you that makes you successful?

Thanks in advance for your help and words of advice,

dukestheheat.

[Deslok]

My definition of success:

Reaching a place where I enjoy the home I have come to live in, the workplace I am employed at, and the vacations it allows me to go on.

Basically, success is achieving happiness and I think I've got it.

[EarlJam]

Not to be cliche' and all, but I really do believe that success depends entirely on how you, YOU define it.

I'm not certain I've reached that point of clarity at my age. Some lucky or more focused souls out there have, and are pursuing that self-defined success.

What I DO know, or HAVE learned for me is that success = experiences. It's not material. What you think may be the worst and most horrific thing to happen to you may, in time, become a blessing to someone who is going through the same thing. With your experience behind you, and on your "resume," and the power it brings to help someone else through the fire.....well, that is a Success Story.

This, to me, can be captured in a quote by Paul Harvey sent to me by a close friend today:

"You can always tell when you are on the road to success; it's uphill all the way. If you find a path that has no problems, you will find that it leads to nowhere."

That said, to sum it up, and to bring it to bullet points as best as possible, I would say success involves these elements:

-Working as hard as you can to provide for your self and to pay your debts through your own work; don't be a begger, and don't demand that others bail you out, but at the same time realize that people have setbacks that are out of their control, hence, GIVE FREELY WITH LOVE, DEMANDING NOTHING IN RETURN.

-Finding a true passion and doing it, no matter if it means a cut in pay or a raise in mockery and laughter of those around you. For me, this is cooking, acting at times like a total child, looking at the moon through telescopes, and building model airplanes with the same enthusiasm I did when I was eight.

-Forgive everyone, perhaps most importantly yourself. Don't hold grudges. Don't put up with abuse or wrongdoing, but choose love over hate; it is quite liberating. End every day with this act.

-Laugh, think deeply and cry every day (stealing from Jimmy V) :)

-At least once a month (or week), do something that scares the absolute hell out of you. Next week, I am going to rob a bank with a rubber 9MM (kidding)

-Fall in love with someone; it can be yourself.

-Create strong, true, relationships with good people. This is worth more than all the money in the world.

-Keep searching, inwardly to your heart, mind and soul and outwardly (is that a word?) into the infinite mysteries that exist in this world and our universe.

Platitudes to a large degree, I know. But I believe in these things. I have a very close family member who has so much but 98% of her speech is "glass half empty," negative and at times, so hateful that I have to walk out of the building. Materially, she is a huge success. She has accomplished many non-material things too, but seems to be totally blind to them. How she can not see the value, beauty and worthiness of her life's work absolutely baffles me; belongs in Ripley's Believe it or Not. Oh well.

Okay, I babble. But your post struck me at a time tonight when I was thinking the exact same thing. I suppose "tis the season" for such pondering.

Not sure where you are with your heart, soul and mind, but hope this contributes in some small way.

Success, to me, is whatever makes you feel joy (not to be confused with the more shallow "happiness") deep within you. You define it; you pursue it; and you live it out, remembering that both good and bad times are equal treasures.

In the end, you hopefully will have stories to tell and non-condescending lessons to tell.

Most of us will agree that 1) we love to love our children, nephews, nieces, to make them laugh and to own their ears, etc. and 2) those "youngens" light up and smile and tune into you most when telling them exciting STORIES or share common EXPERIENCES more so than when you offer a thesis on how that PowerPoint presentation communicating the ROI of the Q1 - Q3 '07 marketing campaign landed you a promotion to VP of the department.


A life overflowing with love, hurt, joy, broken-heartedness, material success and material failures. That IS success to me. Those things can never be taken away from you (e.g. when the DOW crashes), and the lessons, stories, in all their glory can be passed down generation after generation.


Wow, I babble. Apologies. You hit a "loving" nerve! :)

-EarlJam

[EarlJam]

My definition of success:

Reaching a place where I enjoy the home I have come to live in, the workplace I am employed at, and the vacations it allows me to go on.

Basically, success is achieving happiness and I think I've got it.

In the spirit of brevity, let me say...........................YES.

-EarlJam

[devildeac]

Not to be cliche' and all, but I really do believe that success depends entirely on how you, YOU define it.

I'm not certain I've reached that point of clarity at my age. Some lucky or more focused souls out there have, and are pursuing that self-defined success.

What I DO know, or HAVE learned for me is that success = experiences. It's not material. What you think may be the worst and most horrific thing to happen to you may, in time, become a blessing to someone who is going through the same thing. With your experience behind you, and on your "resume," and the power it brings to help someone else through the fire.....well, that is a Success Story.

This, to me, can be captured in a quote by Paul Harvey sent to me by a close friend today:

"You can always tell when you are on the road to success; it's uphill all the way. If you find a path that has no problems, you will find that it leads to nowhere."

That said, to sum it up, and to bring it to bullet points as best as possible, I would say success involves these elements:

-Working as hard as you can to provide for your self and to pay your debts through your own work; don't be a begger, and don't demand that others bail you out, but at the same time realize that people have setbacks that are out of their control, hence, GIVE FREELY WITH LOVE, DEMANDING NOTHING IN RETURN.

-Finding a true passion and doing it, no matter if it means a cut in pay or a raise in mockery and laughter of those around you. For me, this is cooking, acting at times like a total child, looking at the moon through telescopes, and building model airplanes with the same enthusiasm I did when I was eight.

-Forgive everyone, perhaps most importantly yourself. Don't hold grudges. Don't put up with abuse or wrongdoing, but choose love over hate; it is quite liberating. End every day with this act.

-Laugh, think deeply and cry every day (stealing from Jimmy V) :)

-At least once a month (or week), do something that scares the absolute hell out of you. Next week, I am going to rob a bank with a rubber 9MM (kidding)

-Fall in love with someone; it can be yourself.

-Create strong, true, relationships with good people. This is worth more than all the money in the world.

-Keep searching, inwardly to your heart, mind and soul and outwardly (is that a word?) into the infinite mysteries that exist in this world and our universe.

Platitudes to a large degree, I know. But I believe in these things. I have a very close family member who has so much but 98% of her speech is "glass half empty," negative and at times, so hateful that I have to walk out of the building. Materially, she is a huge success. She has accomplished many non-material things too, but seems to be totally blind to them. How she can not see the value, beauty and worthiness of her life's work absolutely baffles me; belongs in Ripley's Believe it or Not. Oh well.

Okay, I babble. But your post struck me at a time tonight when I was thinking the exact same thing. I suppose "tis the season" for such pondering.

Not sure where you are with your heart, soul and mind, but hope this contributes in some small way.

Success, to me, is whatever makes you feel joy (not to be confused with the more shallow "happiness") deep within you. You define it; you pursue it; and you live it out, remembering that both good and bad times are equal treasures.

In the end, you hopefully will have stories to tell and non-condescending lessons to tell.

Most of us will agree that 1) we love to love our children, nephews, nieces, to make them laugh and to own their ears, etc. and 2) those "youngens" light up and smile and tune into you most when telling them exciting STORIES or share common EXPERIENCES more so than when you offer a thesis on how that PowerPoint presentation communicating the ROI of the Q1 - Q3 '07 marketing campaign landed you a promotion to VP of the department.


A life overflowing with love, hurt, joy, broken-heartedness, material success and material failures. That IS success to me. Those things can never be taken away from you (e.g. when the DOW crashes), and the lessons, stories, in all their glory can be passed down generation after generation.


Wow, I babble. Apologies. You hit a "loving" nerve! :)

-EarlJam

Great thoughts, man. And you didn't even need a poll to convey them:rolleyes:;).

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

"Security ... what does this word mean in relation to life as we know it today? For the most part, it means safety and freedom from worry. It is said to be the end that all men strive for; but is security a utopian goal or is it another word for rut?

Let us visualize the secure man; and by this term, I mean a man who has settled for financial and personal security for his goal in life. In general, he is a man who has pushed ambition and initiative aside and settled down, so to speak, in a boring, but safe and comfortable rut for the rest of his life. His future is but an extension of his present, and he accepts it as such with a complacent shrug of his shoulders. His ideas and ideals are those of society in general and he is accepted as a respectable, but average and prosaic man. But is he a man? has he any self-respect or pride in himself? How could he, when he has risked nothing and gained nothing? What does he think when he sees his youthful dreams of adventure, accomplishment, travel and romance buried under the cloak of conformity? How does he feel when he realizes that he has barely tasted the meal of life; when he sees the prison he has made for himself in pursuit of the almighty dollar? If he thinks this is all well and good, fine, but think of the tragedy of a man who has sacrificed his freedom on the altar of security, and wishes he could turn back the hands of time. A man is to be pitied who lacked the courage to accept the challenge of freedom and depart from the cushion of security and see life as it is instead of living it second-hand. Life has by-passed this man and he has watched from a secure place, afraid to seek anything better. What has he done except to sit and wait for the tomorrow which never comes?

Turn back the pages of history and see the men who have shaped the destiny of the world. Security was never theirs, but they lived rather than existed. Where would the world be if all men had sought security and not taken risks or gambled with their lives on the chance that, if they won, life would be different and richer? It is from the bystanders (who are in the vast majority) that we receive the propaganda that life is not worth living, that life is drudgery, that the ambitions of youth must he laid aside for a life which is but a painful wait for death. These are the ones who squeeze what excitement they can from life out of the imaginations and experiences of others through books and movies. These are the insignificant and forgotten men who preach conformity because it is all they know. These are the men who dream at night of what could have been, but who wake at dawn to take their places at the now-familiar rut and to merely exist through another day. For them, the romance of life is long dead and they are forced to go through the years on a treadmill, cursing their existence, yet afraid to die because of the unknown which faces them after death. They lacked the only true courage: the kind which enables men to face the unknown regardless of the consequences.

As an afterthought, it seems hardly proper to write of life without once mentioning happiness; so we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?"


I read this every morning. Hunter S. Thompson's early work had holes in it of course - but I think a certain spirit of youth, adventure, and pride is captured in this essay which could not have been captured by someone a little more seasoned. He wrote this with a young and insightful spirit with wide eyes and hope, and not only that, he lived himself until his very last breath.

I think this purpose goes against what Deslok was quoted in saying but its definitely a good alternative perspective.

[EarlJam]

But is he a man? has he any self-respect or pride in himself? How could he, when he has risked nothing and gained nothing? What does he think when he sees his youthful dreams of adventure, accomplishment, travel and romance buried under the cloak of conformity? How does he feel when he realizes that he has barely tasted the meal of life; when he sees the prison he has made for himself in pursuit of the almighty dollar? If he thinks this is all well and good, fine, but think of the tragedy of a man who has sacrificed his freedom on the altar of security, and wishes he could turn back the hands of time...Turn back the pages of history and see the men who have shaped the destiny of the world. Security was never theirs, but they lived rather than existed. Where would the world be if all men had sought security and not taken risks or gambled with their lives on the chance that, if they won, life would be different and richer?..........As an afterthought, it seems hardly proper to write of life without once mentioning happiness; so we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Dude. Is this from your own cranium, or is it from some other writing?

F#$##ing beautiful man. Spot on, and RIGHT on. Thanks.

-EarlJam

[devil84]

A few years before he died, my dad shared with me that this quote guided him. It guides me now.

"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one's self;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived —
This is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've written three books that are well respected in their field (computer programming), I've spoken at the top level conferences, I've written mission-critical software -- by all accounts, I'm successful in my profession. But writing software doesn't really do much for the above list (sure, I make life easier for some, and maybe win the respect of intelligent people sometimes).

But what brings me the most joy is to mentor teenagers. I love every minute of being a Girl Scout leader or band volunteer. My friends and family think I'm nuts to spend that much time with the kids (my own two are involved, but I feel like I have 125 kids in that band). A hug from a teenager when they've accomplished something, or a thank you from them when they realize that you've helped them achieve something -- that is priceless. These endeavors meet the criteria that Emerson lays out.

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

Dude. Is this from your own cranium, or is it from some other writing?

F#$##ing beautiful man. Spot on, and RIGHT on. Thanks.

-EarlJam

aw man - yeah the title - from Hunter S. Thompson at the age of 17 I believe. I wish it was from my own cranium. I guess I should have listed it at the end too - but I appreciate the appreciation.

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

A few years before he died, my dad shared with me that this quote guided him. It guides me now.

"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one's self;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived —
This is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've written three books that are well respected in their field (computer programming), I've spoken at the top level conferences, I've written mission-critical software -- by all accounts, I'm successful in my profession. But writing software doesn't really do much for the above list (sure, I make life easier for some, and maybe win the respect of intelligent people sometimes).

But what brings me the most joy is to mentor teenagers. I love every minute of being a Girl Scout leader or band volunteer. My friends and family think I'm nuts to spend that much time with the kids (my own two are involved, but I feel like I have 125 kids in that band). A hug from a teenager when they've accomplished something, or a thank you from them when they realize that you've helped them achieve something -- that is priceless. These endeavors meet the criteria that Emerson lays out.

man. love it.

[YmoBeThere]

Success can only be measured by one thing, how many patents do you have?

[Turk]

The Emerson quote is definitely a classic. I do a bit of coaching and I've seen this one:

"A hundred years from now, it will not matter what your bank account balance was, the sort of house you lived in, or the kind of car you drove, but the world may be different because you were important in the life of a child."

[Lord Ash]

Being happy and contributing to the world as a whole.

[throatybeard]

I have no idea what makes someone successful, but I'm pretty sure from personal experience that wasting too much time on these boards is what keeps one from being successful.

[YmoBeThere]

I have no idea what makes someone successful, but I'm pretty sure from personal experience that wasting too much time on these boards is what keeps one from being successful.


Do you have any empirical evidence for your assertion?

[Indoor66]

Being happy and contributing to the world as a whole.

IMO and experience, very few successfully do the second above. I would say being happy and contributing to the world in which I live, however small.

[Lord Ash]

IMO and experience, very few successfully do the second above. I would say being happy and contributing to the world in which I live, however small.

The world in which you live is, in reality, also the world as a whole. If you make a big difference in the world in which you live, I would think you have also made a difference in the world as a whole. It is like if you live in a house, and you buy a new chair for the living room. Yeah, you've changed the room, but you have also changed the house as a whole.

[Indoor66]

The world in which you live is, in reality, also the world as a whole. If you make a big difference in the world in which you live, I would think you have also made a difference in the world as a whole. It is like if you live in a house, and you buy a new chair for the living room. Yeah, you've changed the room, but you have also changed the house as a whole.

That is a little New Age for me. Micro to Macro to ultra Macro. Doesn't compute for me. I am more of a micro to macro to micro type person. :)