Tarheel

[pamtar]

Just moved into a new house. My neighbor has a runty little dog named "Tarheel." I'm a huge dog fan, but sometimes I find it hard to understand dog owners.

The barking. Oh God, the barking.

The lack of poo removal. Oh God, the lack of poo removal.

Should I:


Buy a pitbull and name it Boozer?
Slyly sprinkle Duke blue rat poison along the fence?
Simply file a noise ordinance complaint?

[wilson]

2 iron.

[pamtar]

2 iron.

You sure I'd get enough loft?

[wilson]

You sure I'd get enough loft?

I'm thinking more about square contact. Or you could make a poop pyramid on the neighbors' front step. But then you'd have to handle poop.

[hc5duke]

Option 4: invite D'oh-erty after a bad game

[wilson]

Option 4: invite D'oh-erty after a bad game

HA! Nice.

[sue71]

Should I:


Buy a pitbull and name it Boozer?



How about name it Patrick Davidson?

[2535Miles]

I'm thinking more about square contact. Or you could make a poop pyramid on the neighbors' front step. But then you'd have to handle poop.
I'm a fan of the poop pyramid. And if that makes you squeamish, I suggest you take part in one of my most favorite practical jokes (http://www.dogdoo.com/Default.asp) ever. I recommend the PooPoo Platter. Get a tracking number, take the day off work and watch when it's delivered.

[wilson]

-"I eat pieces of [crap] like you for breakfast!"
-"You eat pieces of [crap] for breakfast?!?!"

[OZZIE4DUKE]

You sure I'd get enough loft?

LOFT = Lack Of F'ing Talent ... Or so says Lee Trevino.

And I get plenty of altitude with a well hit 2 iron. One of my favorite clubs.

[CathyCA]

Here's the portion of the City Code applying to dogs' barking:


Sec. 12-2-39. Public nuisances.
(a) The following acts of a dog, cat or other animal or group of animals are declared public nuisances:
(1) Frequent, habitual howling, yelping, barking, fighting or the making of other noises which disturb the neighborhood;
(2) Chasing, snapping at or attacking a pedestrian, bicycle rider or vehicles;
(3) Turning over garbage containers, damaging gardens, flowers or vegetables;
(4) Running at large while in heat;
(5) By virtue of number or type is offensive or dangerous to the public health, safety or welfare;
(6) Any act, noise or condition created which is offensive to people or destructive of real or personal property.
(b) Animal control officers are authorized to issue civil citations to the owner of any animal which is a public
nuisance under this section, or impound the animal, or both. (Ord. No. 2199, § 1, 6-14-90)

Has the dog pooped anywhere other than his own yard?


Sec. 12-2-40 Restraint of Dogs.
(a) It shall be unlawful for any person owning or having possession, charge, care, custody or control of any dog to fail to keep such dog exclusively upon his own premises; provided that such dog may be off such premises if it is under control of a competent person and restrained by a chain or leash or other means of actual physical control.
(b) It shall be unlawful to permit any dog to defecate or urinate on the lawn or property of any but the owner, or
upon any public or private property without the permission of the owner of that property.

If so, call animal control: (252) 329-4387

You might mention that the dog's name is Tarheel. With any luck, the animal control officer will be an ECU fan and will not be amused.

[EarlJam]

Tranquilize the dog.

Once he's out, drag him inside, shave him, and paint him Duke Blue. Paint a white Duke Blue Devil logo on his back. Use "Thompson's Breathable Paint #37" so that you don't clog the pores and endanger the dog.

Tie a note to the dog's tail that explains that "while you appreciate how much Tarheel is very much like UNC fans (always barking loudly), you thought his appearance could use an overhaul."

Something like that.

End the note with a P.S. that reads, "....and if you don't teach him to shut up, I'm going to go all Gerald Henderson on his [term for buttocks]."

-EarlJam

[devildeac]

Tranquilize the dog.

Once he's out, drag him inside, shave him, and paint him Duke Blue. Paint a white Duke Blue Devil logo on his back. Use "Thompson's Breathable Paint #37" so that you don't clog the pores and endanger the dog.

Tie a note to the dog's tail that explains that "while you appreciate how much Tarheel is very much like UNC fans (always barking loudly), you thought his appearance could use an overhaul."

Something like that.

End the note with a P.S. that reads, "....and if you don't teach him to shut up, I'm going to go all Gerald Henderson on his [term for buttocks]."

-EarlJam

Be careful, EJ, I remember reading somewhere that animal cruelty posting can earn you additional infraction points:o.